A Word from Hubs on Pregnancy Cravings

I may have mentioned before that hubs has himself a nice little blog. It's humor. There's offensive language. But it kills me. He and his friend Chris contribute weekly.

This week, he wrote about my craving for donuts. Not just any donut. A particular flavor. And the lengths I went to to get it. It was too funny not to share. Here's the story straight from hubs' mouth:

This set of Power Rankings is already getting incredibly long-winded, so I’m going to cut it short at item 4 with a little anecdote about my wife. Earlier this week, she sent me an article describing the Men in Black 3 donuts being sold at Dunkin Donuts. For one, this is actually the first time I’d heard that they were even making a Men in Black 3 film (f you, I’m out of the loop). Secondly, I was about to scold her for buying into something ridiculous, but that Undercover Black Cocoa Donut looked absolutely delicious so I held back.



I thought this was going to be the standard, “Hey, wouldn’t this be awesome to try?” thing where you just let it go, but I guess I completely forgot my wife was pregnant. This was not a “ha ha, fun right?” thing, and more of a “B we are GOING TO BUY SOME OF THESE” thing. She sent me the article on Monday morning. I got a text Monday afternoon saying, “Are you going to pick me up some?” which I discarded as a joke. Now, at this point men who have had pregnant wives will stop and call this a “classic mistake”. For you would-be fathers out there, let me give you a little piece of advice: When your pregnant wife asks for a particular food item, get your as out there and pick it up.


My wife generally does a good job of hiding her disappointment in how crappy of a husband I am, but this time it was painted all over her face: She wanted Undercover Black Cocoa Donuts, and I came home with none. She only said, “So you didn’t pick me up any?” but her face and eyes said, “WHAT THE F IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” My inability to get the job done would not stop her, though. First she called our local Dunkin Donuts, who informed her that they had a single Undercover Black Cocoa Donut left. Unacceptable. She was not about to roll the dice on a single donut. No, we went down the list until we found a store that actually had several of them that they could put aside for us.


Let me put this in perspective: We actually got onto an interstate highway to get our hands on these donuts. On the drive home, my wife opened up the bag and inhaled out of it like she was huffing paint. When we get home, I made her sit down at the dinner table to enjoy her treat because we’re not animals. We bought three donuts, one for her, one for me, and one just in case. The first donut was gone in 3.2 seconds, but she packed away the third donut for later, and it had a terrible fate coming to it. My wife was really only interested in the brownie batter filling, so the next day she just completely bypassed the middleman with that third donut. Instead of eating the donut itself, she just cracked it in half and sucked out the filling like some kind of chocovampire.


I love her.